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Leaving the Past as It Was and Moving On


Written on Thursday…

I bet that many of you are thankful that its Thursday, and that you only have one more day until the weekend where you may actually have time to yourself.  Rather than having to rush just to make it through the day and get everything you want done, you may have more time to set aside to determine what it is you want, to plan it out, and to start going about doing so.  And although you may be taking these small steps to the life you want, I bet that many of you are just like me, in the fact that you find yourself going back and forth regretting what once was… and debating on what should have been.  Rather than being happy with all that you may have achieved, you keep finding reasons to knock yourselves for things that can’t be changed…

and for this very reason I created this blog today.

So you got me…

As much as I want to seem completely happy in my new blog and the steps I have taken with IIFYM and strength training in combatting anorexia, I oftentimes find myself looking back with regret.  Instead of recognizing how each aspect of my past is playing into my success, I keep knocking myself for the life I once lived.  And while I do understand that what happened made me stronger, more passionate in helping others, and had helped me in rediscovering my love of fashion, I still go about TORMENTING myself in this way.  Rather than seeing all that I have achieved, and focusing on all the steps I can take now to get further along, I oftentimes get stuck.

And it shouldn’t be…

for you or for me.

The Past

The fact is, that as much as we are told that the past is the past, we still manage to get ourselves stuck regretting or even despising at least one aspect of our lives.  Sometimes we regret decisions that we, OURSELVES, have made, and sometimes we regret the decisions made for us that subjected us to pain.  And while it’s easy to just say to let the past be, and to let it go, I bet that many of you still find times where you hate on the life that you had in comparison to the life you have now.

So whether you are far along in getting the life you deserve OR just starting out, the fact is that many of you will still look back wanting to selectively pick through moments and life periods, and get rid of any of those that you rather not live through again.  In spite of being further ahead than you once were, you still feel and remember the pain that you had once felt, and find yourself questioning what you could have changed to change the situation in which needed to be dealt with.  You may find yourself debating how much better life would have been for you now if you would have a.) STARTED EARLIER b.) MADE A DIFFERENT DECISION ENTIRELY c.) HAD MORE TOOLS LIKE YOU HAVE NOW.  And while it may seem great to think about all the way your life may be different if you lived it a certain way, it only HOLDS YOU BACK from being the person whom you want to be.  

So although we can’t erase the past, let’s figure out how to live the future as we want it to be.

Accepting the Present

So there you have it, we need to leave the past as it was and move on to the present part in order to get the futures in which we deserve.  According to John Grohol in his article Learning to Let Go of Past Hurts: 5 Ways to Move On, there are five ways to do so which I have written below.

  1. Make the decision to let it go.
  2. Express your pain — and your responsibility.
  3. Stop being the victim and blaming others.
  4. Focus on the present — the here and now — and joy.
  5. Forgive them — and yourself.

And while these may be only five steps that he acclaimed to be necessary, I think one other thing to remember is to have patience with yourself in doing so, as it will take more than just a day to let go of what may have been.  Accept what happened, accept that you made the best decision you knew how, and accept how it made you the better person you are becoming.  By just taking your life a step at a time, and trying to realize how much better your future can be if you continue to make small changes right now, you will get exactly what you wish for indeed.

Onto The Future Part

By realizing that you can’t change the past, and by actually taking small steps every single day, you will GIVE YOURSELF the future you deserve.  Your small actions each and everyday will put you that much closer to being a step away from the future you want, even though it may seem quite bleak at first.  With a step at a time, you will be able to eventually look back and see how much you have accomplished rather than just how far you have to go.  By seeing yourself moving on and becoming happier every step you take, you will make it to that great future which we all know awaits.

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The End

So while you may be looking back with regret, the fact of the matter is that we can’t erase the past, and that we only have the choice to let it be.  Rather than going through 50 “If…then” scenarios in your head each day and getting frustrated, let go of the past by utilizing the steps I stated in the blog.  While it may seem impossible, there are ways to let go and to get onto the future part without holding yourself back.  Instead of holding yourself back, utilize every single day and make small steps so that you can get the life in which you all are dreaming of.  While it may seem like a rather long time to get the EXACT life you want, you will eventually look back with gratitude of how differently things are (BECAUSE YOU MADE IT THAT WAY).  And that’s it.  So today, although it may be the holiday weekend, I hope that each one of you takes the time to reconsider how you approach your day.  Rather than holding yourself back with what may have been, just throw your hands in the air, let go, and make today the first step of many towards the future you deserve.

(To be continued in Part 2…Subscribe if you want to see)!

With Love Always,



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