As bad as it may sound, I locked my grandma in the basement when I was younger (INTENTIONALLY), and still (at times), wish that it would be acceptable for me to do it again.
I know that the statement I made above may sound somewhat insane, and maybe I’m being too dramatic, but I guess you will just need to read below to find out why I did what I did and more importantly, why I would do it now.
The fact is, my grandma was never the nice person whom I wanted her to be. Growing up, she came quite a few times, but when she did, she always overstayed her welcome. When she would come, she would always be one of those cranky family members whom never had anything nice to say except to those few whom she was overly nice to. She played favorites, and rather than playing games, she played mind-games intended to hurt. Besides all of the pain that she had caused, she had also caused much embarrassment, especially when she yelled through the store of how we keep ourselves regular. And in spite of how bad these things may appear, the worst part of it was the influence she had on my relationship with myself and with the food, as she would not only pick at my sweaters,but she herself didn’t eat.
And while this isn’t quite the reason I locked her in the basement when I was young, it is the reason I wish she would have remained as so, as who knows how much I would need to have struggled had she not been there. I question of whether I would struggle as greatly with my confidence had I not been prone to her comments focused not only to the way that I ate, but the way that I looked as well. I question of whether I would have had as many thoughts about food if she did not continuously make comments about the food in which we were being served.
But in spite of these thoughts of mine, I still talk to my grandma daily, which makes me at times want to lock her back in. In spite of knowing my struggle and the things that I go through daily in order to survive, she continues to tell me of things which are best not talking about. She continues to tell me of the foods that she chooses not to eat and of the exercises which she continues to do. And while it may not be the best to talk about, the thing that gets me most is the way in which she continues to criticize the way that I look and continues to criticize the ways in which I decide to eat when she knows all the battles which I have faced.
So while I would love to lock her in the basement or at least out of my life, I know that she’s just one in a world of many. A world of many nay-sayers and negative people whom can’t just be locked in a basement or removed from the world. Instead, they must be dealt with. But how?
The things that have helped me to deal with my grandma and even those whom seem negative is to shut off the negativity. If someone is being negative, I oftentimes try to end the conversation and/or try to talk about something else instead. If this doesn’t seem to work, I tend to vent to those whom I care about, and/or utilize the experience as a way in which to help others. By refocusing and figuring out how to make a bad situation good, I am able to feel better myself.
So odd post, but I am hoping that by sharing helps to inspire another who may be dealing with similar things as I have. Maybe I will share more stories sometime in the future, as there happen to be many, or maybe I won’t. But I hope that in one way or another our stories can help make the negative into positive.
*And by the way, I locked her in the basement because she confined by phone calls and wouldn’t allow me to make a phone call that I needed to make for support in dealing with her. Because she did not allow this, my seven-eight year old self ran downstairs and then upstairs only to lock her out…and of course I got my phone call done.